They said when you sleep a lot it shows that you're sad deep inside. I guess it's true. Because nobody really listen to my problem. They did listen to me but I know they didn't hear me. When people all sudden offering to lend their ears to hear my problem, it is just weird you know? They never care about you. Why all sudden they wanna know about you...ohh maybe because you're the hot topic right now. By hot I mean you know people around you talking about you, what you're doing to these people, what have you done in the past, who you liked before this. They ask you not because they care, they just need a new topic or maybe to fresh up the old topic with some new spies in it. Everyday is a struggle for me, because you know being with all of your awesome friends and you just you. Maybe I got some label but not that 'awesome', 'pretty', 'hot' or 'cute' labelled. I know it's not a good thing to fuck around, pranking people, laughing at people whose fall, talk bad about others. But seriously tho, I can't stop hating on people, I hate people like I hate myself. And if I ever receive a letter that saying there is none of my friends like me or love, I wouldn't suprise because I hate people. Idk how to cope with this feeling. I mean I can update my moments on Wechat, tweet on Twitter, post a status on Facebook, or even post a deep-meaning-of-life picture on Instagram to show the whole world that I'm sad...but I choose not to. How people can be so nice, I mean are they pretending or they just plain nice? Why am I even questioning nice people? We need them right? I really want to be one of the nice people in the world, but I'm just me. I know what my abilities are, I can approach people easily, talk to them like I know them forever...but I'm just me. I do have my own insecurities which holding me back from expressing myself. I know my ugliness can be fix soon, but at this moment...I feel so vulnerable. Thank God I have an awesome family that support me through thick and thin. At this point, I don't care about how many people hating on me because what they do is transferring their good deeds (if they had any)  to me. So I got that going for me, which is nice. I'm really hoping that friendship that I've build through the years starting from elementary to secondary and soon university will last forever, impossible but who cares? It's really depressing to see your friends have a bf while you just keep adding amount of your pets. It hurts to see my friend heartbroken but it's their fault, they choose to involve in this matter in this early teenager's life. You know what it is normal for me when people see me like an alien, you know when they take a second looks not because you're cute it's because you're different. Hmmmmmm if only I can rebirth myself.